Yesterday on the shores of Lake Beltaine, I watched a casket being lowered into the ground. I had never seen that before, sure you know it must eventually end up being lowered into the vault..but they actually did it during the graveside service. WHOA! The sight of that casket disappearing is pretty final. I did however think that having a cemetary on prime lakeshore property was pretty cool, even though the occupants were past viewing the view. Our friend died of a untreatable brain tumor at the age of 59. He knew back in June that his days were numbered, and there was a gathering one day in July on a Sunday…..he was there and very full of life..last week I heard that he was scared of death, and then he slipped into a coma.
The Funeral was painfully long, but there was a great Funeral Lunch. Again, we non Catholics were left in the dust because there was no printed order of service. Is this a normal occurance? Don’t they want anyone else to participate in their service? Why won’t they share??
The priest asked that everyone spit out their gum. Well far be it from me to be a rebel..and I would have complied if he had a note written in Hebrew from God. High Mass or whatever you call the long communion service without a stick of gum in your mouth was a little too much to ask. Besides that IF I was to have gotten rid of the gum..where exactly was I supposed to put it? I do not carry a hand bag..sure I had an emergency Kleenex down in my bra..was I supposed to put it there..or was I supposed to sneak it out of my mouth and attach it under the pew..or just tack it to the kneeling rail? Goodness sakes..he didn’t think that I should swallow it.. that wasn’t going to happen. After the service Far Guy said "Did you get rid of your gum?" he was sitting in the front pew because he was a Pallbearer..I was sitting in the last pew..the deemed spot for Pallbearers wives. I replied "Heck no, did you think I would?" Far Guy just shook his head.
This morning we breakfasted with an old friend, one that we met up with at yesterdays funeral. Life is a circle, and Tom is still circling. He exhausted me, Far Guy kept up with him in his own medicated way. I take no medications..therefore I started to weep. I wept for his children, who will never know what a marvelous gifted funny man their father was before Alcoholism and Manic Depression claimed him. He has a degree in Theology, he was a Pastor a long time ago. He says now he argues with God, as long as there is some communication with God..that is a good thing. He is homeless, but everywhere is his home, he has no regular job, he paints..he finds solace in the lines he makes on the walls with his painting tools. He writes, deep stuff, heart wrenching, soul searching, painfully truthful stuff..he has two manuscripts someplace..he said he doesn’t care where they are or if they are ever published, he said "Perhaps I will be famous someday after my death." Out in the parking lot he read to us from a well worn blue notebook..thoughts of the way things might have been. He might be famous someday ..I hugged him goodbye, and my tears still flowed. They fell like raindrops, heavy and wet..I must still have one lousy hormone acting up today.
I have to remember that God weaves the tapestry, and just because I don’t like the colors that he is weaving right now..it will still be a beautiful tapestry, I am just viewing it from my tiny little perspective..and God sees the entire thing.
Leaving the restaurant I encountered an old friend, she was forever changed the day that her son was killed in a tragic car accident. It is like that day was the day that she stopped living..since then she just exists. I think she is still mad at God.
I also encountered my parents as they were leaving the restaurant and they told me of the birth of my newest Great Niece early this morning.. Brooke Hazel.. a perfect little girl..a gift straight from God.
Life is a circle, some die and some are born, some laugh and some cry..we don’t know how many days we will be blessed with…so we better make the most of the ones that we have:)