Retirement Communications

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Yesterday we had coffee with old friends from North Dakota who are newly "retired"..they are still in the honeymoon stage of their retirement. They are still getting on each others nerves. They are in the process of finishing their lake home here in Minnesota and moving..stress is just a little high in their household. They are taking separate vacations because one of them will not leave the dog alone. One does not have her passport yet, we are waiting for her..she had her bad hip done at Mayo. They have issues, one is a night person, one goes to bed at 9PM..one gets stuck with all the cooking..one is content to stay home and do jigsaw puzzles..one is a people person and makes the rounds having coffee every morning.

 

This is Penny, a sweet old gal..the one that they don’t want to leave alone. She cannot walk on the hardwood floors..so they have a trail of scatter rugs that go from her dog bed to a huge area rug..they have steps ..she struggles with them. I took several photos of her..she has very soulful eyes. She probably won’t live much longer..she is twelve..I think that it is really sad that dogs don’t live very long..they have to cram a whole lot of living in just a few years.

New retirees .they have to cram a whole bunch of things in before they croak or medical aliments or old dogs keep them home… there are lots of "honeymoon" issues that have to be worked out too..being together 24/7 can be a real joy or a real problem in retirement, communication is a must. Communication is something we could all work at. Especially men.

Lately Far Guy says that I forget to tell him stuff. Me..who is on no medication that makes me forget..me who tells him stuff..he who replies "Yes dear" ..me who writes stuff on the calendar..as a reminder that we must be someplace…he who doesn’t look at the calender. The other day after I talked to Bob on the phone at 9PM because Barb had gone to bed..I told Far Guy.. we will have coffee with them on Friday..he said "OK" so I added it to our calendar….then when Bob called yesterday morning..Far Guy knew nothing about it.. sometimes I feel just like banging my head against the wall..instead it appears that I have just been talking to the wall. I am not sure what the solution is. I am communicating. Someone is not listening..does he need a hearing aid or should I have him sign little post it notes all day long. That is Bob and Barbs method of insuring that they have communicated..they leave each other little "love notes".. and Bob had a whole pocket full:)
 

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5 Responses to Retirement Communications

  1. TechnoBabe says:

    Yes, adjusting to being together 24/7 takes good communication. I hope your friends make the adjustment and life calms down for them so they can enjoy the retirement stage. Their dog has a sad look, but such a pretty face.

  2. Abra La Mente says:

    Penny is so pretty–reminds me of my Penny that I had as a child. As for men listening, they don’t; my hubby doesn’t remember things I told him five minutes earlier. Sometimes I repeat myself, sometimes I don’t. I say “Just forget it,’ a lot, since he already has…then he tries to insist I should repeat it! If he didn’t hear it the first time, why is he interested now? Oh yeah, it’s that PO’ed look on my face, or the low growl, or…he’d like to eat today. ;-) MADDENING!

  3. dumbo says:

    There are more ways to miscommunicate than you can count. There is the forgot to tell, the forgot to listen and the it didn’t register. For some reason the it didn’t register seems to crop up 90% or more of the time. I have no idea why you can hear something, answer it appropriately and in 30 seconds can’t remember a thing about it.

  4. Avatar of abra la mente says:

    Actually, Dumbo has a good point, and to be fair to my husband, I am known for answering and approving things that didn’t fully register, especially if I am ‘locked into’ a task at hand. As a peson with ADHD, I can only remain focused on a topic for a limited amount of time. My disorder has me trying to pay attention to EVERYTHING around me (the conversation at hand, the conversations around me, the conversations in the next room, the tv, the appliances whirring, the raindrops falling). It’s anyone’s guess which one I am actually absorbing, as I will probably be nodding in agreement, even though I am not registering!

  5. Lisa Johnson says:

    Ok this blog cracked me up. I think its because Farguy is a man. I’m the one on medication here for TN. My hubby forgets what I tell him all the time.