Sometimes it helps me to write about something that is stuck in my craw. Today that concerns a 18 year old young lady. She comes by the museum often…she did not graduate last spring.
Last year she thought she would graduate..then I suspect that since she lives apart from her parents.. she slept in ..and missed too many days of school to graduate.
She showed up at the museum..I asked her “Why aren’t you in school?” She replied “Because I am going to go to night school..I hate getting up early in the morning to go to school.” I asked “When do you start night classes?” She replied “I am not sure.” I said “You better get your butt in gear..just incase it doesn’t work out..maybe you should go back to high school this year.” Nope she hates school and she hates getting up in the morning. She is looking for a job..she had a job for three weeks then she was let go..she said “For having a bad attitude.”
I did everything I could do but stand on my head to encourage her to go back to school. I told her that without a HS diploma you are stuck with menial jobs that don’t pay well. I told her to think beyond “small town” and to further her education she needs that diploma.
How does she survive? Many people are enabling her. Her parents must hand out cash on a regular basis…since they are divorced I am sure they do not communicate. Her Mom pays her cell phone bill. She lives in a place with another gal where she only has to pay utilities ( another Mom is enabling her child). So if you only pay part of the utilities and buy a few groceries and have enough money for gas..what more do you need? I think Daddy bought the car and covers the insurance (another enabler). Her Grandparents ( all four) must dole out cash too..on a weekly basis.
I feel sorry for her. No one cares enough about her to see that she went to school..to see that she was not going to graduate. Someone dropped the ball. Someone was not doing their job. MANY people were not doing their job..Teachers, Principals, Advisors and Parents.
How does this happen this day and age? How can the parents be so blind to the education of their child? The child does not need a car or a cellphone..both should be taken away if she cannot pay the bill. She should have never been allowed to leave home before she was 18..but that is water under the bridge and nothing can be done about that.
I know what I would do if she were my child. I would pay the car insurance and the cell phone bill IF her fanny was parked on a desk in school. If not she can walk everywhere and write letters to her friends.
A long time ago when our oldest daughter was in college..she had a tough semester and wanted to quit. I said “Sure, go ahead and quit, I can put you to work here at the resort for your room and board.” She stayed in school:)
Oh boy are yhou ever right about that spoiled 18year old drop out who did not graduate “because she does not like to get up early” No wonder she got let go from a job for having a bad attitude..probably late for work too or no show at all as so many of that age are wont to do… We are in a generation (or more ) of spoiled kids who have been enabled by other adults who give them money and creature comforts instead of tough love and constant guidance as parents should do. What will it be like when these spoiled brats are the older generation. I sure as H — don’t want them working in a nursing home where I might have to live when I am very old and feeble.
Thank you for ALL that you do! During my 30+ years as a middle school teacher, I looked forward to conferences as an opportunity to “teach” adults parenting skills, much like those you expressed. I don’t know how many times I’d have a parent say, “I can’t do that!?!”